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[icon] How bad can it be? - Patti
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Subject:How bad can it be?
Time:09:59 am
I often get my nails done at a local mall, simply because they have a reasonably competent and reasonably priced shop that's open 'til 9 p.m. and isn't too far out of the way. This is about the only time I ever set foot in a mall, so I also consider it my duty to American consumer culture.

Last night I escaped the nail salon around 8;45 and wandered over to the food court to see what was available. There's usually a quite-passable sushi joint in this food court, but it's closed for remodeling. My options were whatever mall chain-store fare was still serving. There was only one choice-- Panda Express. "How bad can it be?" I asked myself as I got in line.

There are a few universal truths in this world. Toast always lands butter-side down. You can't go back. People are stupid. You can't always get what you want. Whenever you ask yourself, "How bad can it be?" it will be worse than you imagined.

I opted for the Panda Bowl-- white rice with whatever option looked most palatable. I chose something called mushroom chicken, thinking it was probably healthier than any of the deep fried stuff.

The dish is misnamed. It should be called Chunks Of Brownish Stuff With Undercooked Zuccini In A Goopy Brown Sauce That Manages To Be Bland And Taste Gross At The Same Time And That's Really Quite An Accomplishment Don't You Think? Even the rice was bad! It was the wrong rice, was overcooked, and didn't hold together at all.

I can't imagine how this place stays in business-- sure, they could manage to snag the occasional hungry, ignorant, and optimistic passerby the first time, but who goes back? Oh yeah, people are stupid.
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jpmassar
Subject:How bad can it be?
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 05:25 pm (UTC)
I think you are missing something. There exist a sufficient number
of people who actually like

"Chunks Of Brownish Stuff With Undercooked Zuccini In A Goopy Brown Sauce That Manages To Be Bland And Taste Gross At The Same Time And That's Really Quite An Accomplishment Don't You Think?"

that they can stay in business.

It is true that people are stupid, and PT Barnum was correct, but it
is also true that many people prefer margarine to butter, non-dairy creamer
to cream, and fake Chinese food to real Chinese food.

Caveat digestor
(Reply) (Thread)


songmonk
Subject:Re: How bad can it be?
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 05:40 pm (UTC)
Exactly.

I have a friend who *likes* Mr. Chau's.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

(Deleted comment)

violet_tigress1
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 06:30 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine how this place stays in business

They're fast & reasonably priced. I like their chow mein better than their rice. It holds together better and is easier to eat. The Orange Chicken is kind of a c omfort food for me.
(Reply) (Thread)


bldrnrpdx
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 06:32 pm (UTC)
I'm partial to the Orange Chicken myself. And I don't go there for Fine Chinese Dining. Anymore than I go to Red Robin for Fine American Cuisine. I go there for quick, good-enough, cheap-enough food that other people in my group will eat or food that's available at the mall while I'm taking care of errands.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


gunga_galunga
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 07:59 pm (UTC)
I actually like their Mandarin Chicken without the sauce. It's basically just grilled chicken.

Toast always lands butter-side down.

I thought Myth Busters debunked that one.
(Reply) (Thread)


crayonbeam
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 08:23 pm (UTC)
I get the Panda Bowl with veggies instead of rice or noodles and with Orange Flavor Chicken and I FREAKIN LOVE IT! Yum! Sweet! Crunchy! Whenever I get in the mood for bad Chinese food, Panda Express is right there for me.
(Reply) (Thread)


bittercrackbaby
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-17 09:17 pm (UTC)
Wait, you bought something sitting around for hours at the end of the day on top of warm water and you expect it to be good?

The stuff that they crank out on the spot is ok.

I can't imagine some of those mall joints that serve tempura manage to stay in business. Oh wait, Americans put up with crap food.
(Reply) (Thread)


evwhore
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-18 06:19 am (UTC)
I've eaten at the Panda Express in DEN more than once on a stopover. It's not the worst Chinese food I've ever had. (Not sure what is, but this has to be down there somewhere.)
(Reply) (Thread)


pokerchimp
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-18 09:52 am (UTC)
Hey there are actually people who eat white castle and krystal
(Reply) (Thread)


whipartist
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-18 03:22 pm (UTC)
I eat White Castles. But only after midnight.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


drj0402
Link:(Link)
Time:2007-08-18 06:36 pm (UTC)
Perhaps the mushroom in the title referred to the campbells cream of mushroom soup?

I kid. I kid.
(Reply) (Thread)

[icon] How bad can it be? - Patti
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