Dear st00pid tourists:
Please do not stop dead in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. Do not do it to look around, take a picture, tie your shoes, send a text message, call your mother, or any other shred of a reason that may hover near your awestruck small-town brain. Especially do not do this on 42nd street in Times Square on a sunny holiday-weekend afternoon. Step to the edge where you won't block traffic and I won't have to run into your suburban SUV-sculpted ass.
Also, do not stop in doorways, at the entrance to or exit from elevators or escalators, or anywhere else that is a pinch point for traffic. Hint: pinch point does not mean ass or nipple.
Yeesh. I thought the Mirage was bad for putting me on tourist tilt.
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