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[icon] Ticketmaster, how do I hate thee? - Patti
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Subject:Ticketmaster, how do I hate thee?
Time:12:07 am
When I booked the trip to Philly, I also bought tickets to In The Heights on Broadway for this Sunday. I used Ticketmaster, since it was the only option, though I despise those fuckers. A momentary lapse of reason caused me to select their TicketFast delivery, which is the function whereby they send you a PDF of the tickets (or you log into their system to get it) and then print it out at home.

They charge you $2.50/ticket for this. Yes, two dollars and fifty cents for the privilege of printing your own ticket. Whatever. It was stupid, but I did it.

Tonight I went through the usual travel prep-- do laundry, pack, check in for my flight online, print my boarding pass and itinerary, and print any other documents I might need for the trip. In this case, that meant printing the show tickets.

Guess what? They never sent me the PDFs. This doesn't seem like a big deal, since there's a "click here to print your tickets" link in the email they sent me.

I clicked. I logged in. I clicked on the order. I got the usual Ticketmaster queue screen, followed by a screen of fail. I tried again, same Knight Rider queue animation, followed by fail. After a third try, I used my sophisticated human pattern-matching skills to figure out there was a problem. Motherfucker.

Being the good internet customer that I am, I dove into their help system. I found the entry about not being able to print TicketFast tickets, and it suggested that I check my Acrobat version and make sure my printer is online. Thanks bud, that's oh so terribly helful. They suggested I contact them by email, but I'm getting on a plane at oh-dark-hundred tomorrow-- my guess is that they'd respond to my email in October. October 2011. Motherfuckers.

I dug around in Contact Us, and learned that their customer service closes at 9 local time. MOTHERFUCKER.

But wait! They have a Hawaii number. I'll call that. Automated system, of course. I pressed all the right buttons, then entered my order number on the keypad-- I followed their instructions carefully, entering stars for dashes and slashes. And then "there's a problem, press 2 to speak to an operator." I did.

"We're sorry, our service center is closed. Our hours are..." MOTHERFUCKER WITH MAYO, ON RYE.

So now I can't print tickets. I can't get to customer service. I can't get into the show without printing tickets. I'm leaving for the airport tomorrow morning at 7. If I'm lucky, Bill will have a printer and I'll be able to straighten it out. If not, MOTHERFUCKERS AT TICKETMASTER WILL SUFFER!

Hell, they should suffer anyway. They are made of pure evil, with a liberal topping of stupid sauce and sprinkles of asinine.


Anticlimactic ending: I tried again two hours later, and it worked. The motherfuckers should still suffer, though.
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sabyl
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Time:2008-08-29 08:46 am (UTC)
I usually do willcall. It's free and easy. But ticketmaster still sucks. In my opinion they should give you a discount for printing your own ticket. Have fun in Philly and NYC and say hi to bill
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adbjupe
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-08-29 11:07 am (UTC)
While you are at it, tell them they should clean their act regarding foreign issued credit cards, too. Not have them try to charge higher fees and if that fails, just drop the entire transaction without notification. They made me stand outside a theater without tickets meant as a birthday present.
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bldrnrpdx
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-09-02 01:09 am (UTC)
Motherfucker with mayo, on rye.

I learn the best swearing from you.
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[icon] Ticketmaster, how do I hate thee? - Patti
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