June 26th, 2004

Scene from Safeway tonight

I stopped at Safeway on the way home from the office, and ran into one of my coworkers there.

We left at the same time, and when we got to the parking lot there was a big freakin' yellow H2 sprawled across two no-parking spaces close to the door, hazard lights blinking away. It was so ungodly horrifying that we couldn't help stopping.

"Check out that thing. It's ugly."

"It's huge! Huge and ugly."

"Dickwad can't even park it legally. What an ass."

"Check it out. It's flashing at us."

"Probably lonely."

"God, that thing's scary."

"It's an embarrassment." As I utter this, I note the owner coming around the corner toward the driver's door.

"Man, he must have a really big penis if he drives that thing."

"No, small. It's the ultimate compensation machine."

"Yeah, maybe you're right. A tiny little dick."

The owner gives us a dirty look and drives off.