Patti (whipartist) wrote,
Patti
whipartist

How (not) to pack for Kinkfest

Buy a ginormous suitcase a few days ahead of time.

Take all of the rope from your rope class, along with the carabiners and suspension ring, and put it in the bitch bag, then put that in the suitcase.

Throw in three pairs of boots. Yeah, three should be enough.

Add a corset, elbow-length leather gloves, and the leather vest.

Hrmm, maybe you should bring some clothes too? Yeah, OK. Throw in clothes. Hunt high and low for the one shirt you absolutely have to have, and find it ten minutes later.

Toiletries? Umm, yeah. Don't forget those.

And while you're at it, grab a stash off all the drugs and vitamins you're snarfing down right now.

Toys. Oh shit, toys. Take everything out of the toybag, put it away, and then contemplate what you're going to pack. Rethink it a few times. Realize that for the first time in your life, you're going to a big kink event without floggers, and that's OK.

Put toybag in suitcase.

Remember to take the switchblade out of your purse.

Yikes! Almost forgot to pack the wrist braces.

Close the suitcase, put it on the scale. Realize it's twelve pounds over the airline's weight limit. Bloody hell.

Remove one pair of boots. Realize rope is quite heavy, and remove a couple hanks of it.

Weigh the suitcase again. Shit, still five pounds over the limit. Search the TSA website to see if rope is legal in a carry-on. Nothing says it isn't, but do you really want to lose your rope? Remove the suspension ring and aggressively cull the rope-- if you need some while you're there, you can borrow it. Put the boots back.

Weigh suitcase, and discover it's half a pound under the weight limit. Decide that's too close for comfort, and with deep sadness remove one toy.

Stare wistfully at the big pile of rejected rope.

Pack up the laptop and assorted cables.

Contemplate putting the suspension ring into the carry-on, then realize it's several pounds of metal that you don't really need.

Freak out briefly about what you've forgotten, then realize that Portland has these cool things called stores that might help with anything you've forgotten.

Doublecheck that you have your boarding pass, car reservation, hotel reservation.

Pack the GPS in case you've forgotten how to find things in Portland.

Check the time, and note that your plane leaves in seven hours. Sleep, maybe? And what moron books an 8 a.m. flight, anyway? Oh, yeah, that would be you.
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