The tournament itself was an exercise in frustration. It was really hard to get action on any of my good hands, the spewbots quickly dumped their chips to other people, and I just couldn't catch a break. Plus, the solid players were on my left.
At my first table I got aces three times and kings once. What happened? I stole the blinds four times. It could have been worse, but it wasn't what I was hoping for.
One hand, it was folded to my small blind, and I raised QJc. The big blind, a solid player, called. The flop was Ac Qd Tc. I bet, she called. As she did, I thought to myself, "the king of clubs would be a good turn card." And there it was! I checked, hoping she might pounce on weakness, but no dice. The river was a small offsuit card, and she declined to call a small bet with her KT. If the right card had paired on the river I could have made a killing, but instead I got a small pot with my royal flush. Sigh.
I blew off perhaps a few hundred chips too many with 66 vs T8 on a flop of T84-- it was the same player in the same confrontation. I put her on a T or 8 but not both, and planned to take it from her if an ace fell. River A, but I couldn't pry her off of two pair.
I saw one of the worst calls of my life. Solid player in early position, hoser in late position. I don't remember the preflop action, but the flop was Q32 rainbow. Bet, slightly more than in raise, call. Turn Q. Bet, slightly more than min raise, call. River 3. All-in, and the hoser called without hesitation. On a board of Q32Q3 the hands were AQ and 22. On the river the deuces can't beat anything other than a bluff, and yet she called off nearly her entire stack there without a second thought.
After getting moved to a new table I was in jam-or-fold mode. I doubled through with A9s when 88 called me. 9s full on the turn locked up the win. A few hands later the same player jammed, and I insta-called with KK in the big blind. Her A9 spiked a nine on the flop. Finally, UTG with 1600 left and 100-200 blinds I jammed 55 and ran into QQ.
I did, however, manage to restore my phone to functionality this evening.
And this may be the funniest XKCD ever.